At first he just started wearing them a bit below his hips, he just wanted to try the latest trend, Jack said to Emma, and he didn’t bother wearing a belt anymore, according to Jeff, because he was managing to hold them up by spreading his knees, but he did stop running, Laura pointed out, which suggests he was aware of the danger, but also that he wanted, even more than he knew, to feel normal, or more normal, or maybe just pretend he was normal, said Winston, for he told her, Laura went on that he had expected to be holding on with both hands and found, to his surprise, that he really didn’t mind at all to be showing off his boxer shorts and reveled in a cool draft between his butt cheeks. But did he have an account at Barney’s, Nathan wanted to know, since it would have been crazy to have no backup should he lose them on his way to work. And he said to Ken, that he would go, even though he was indeed worried, but who wouldn’t be worried now, though, odd as it might seem, he hadn’t been worrying until recently, he avowed to Brendon, it was only in the last six months that he had begun to panic knowing that Barney’s may not stock that kind of thing and that he would probably have to go to Walmart, he observed to Peter. Of course, it was hard not to worry, everyone was worried, but it wouldn’t do to panic, because, as Jack pointed out to Brendon, there wasn’t anything one could do except wait and hope, wait and hope. And stop laughing at him. And even if he does buy several more pair of those, we shouldn’t despair, we can always organize an intervention before it goes too far. It seemed that everyone was in touch with everyone else several times a week, checking in, I’ve never spent so many hours at a time texting, Nathan said to Karen, and when I’m exhausted after receiving two or three dozen texts, giving me the latest, instead of putting down my phone to take a rest I start texting several other friends and acquaintances, to pass along the news. I’m not sure I can afford to think so much about it, Emma said, and I suspect my own motives, there’s something weird I’m getting used to, getting amused by, this must be how people feel when watching the Gong Show. As far as I know, I’m not at risk, but you never know, said Alice. Any day now, my husband could start wearing them that way. This thing is totally unprecedented, said Fiona. But don’t you think he ought to wear a belt, Nathan insisted. Listen, said Winston, you can’t force a guy to cover his ass, and what makes you think you’ve seen the worst? Any day now, George Clooney could start doing it, then we’ll all be wearing them like that.
E J Barron
E J Barron 